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Monday, 10 March 2008

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-Aileen
Risk Stratification

Part of my senior research project involves the current risk stratification indices for patients with atrial fibrillation (when your heart pumps weird, allowing blood to stick around and clot) on anti-coagulation (blood thinning) therapy. People who are at risk for stroke and blood clots need to have thinner blood so they can decrease the likelihood of stroking out or clotting. Risk stratification means that you are giving a point score to see their true risk and putting them in low, medium, and high-risk groups. And who knows, you may even find that the person doesn’t need therapy, and an aspirin a day may do the trick.

e.g. CHADS2
C: Congestive Heart Failure (1pt)
H: Hypertension (1pt)
A: age>75 yo (1pt)
D: diabetes (1pt)
S2: previous stroke (2pts)

CHADS2 score:
0-1: low to moderate risk, just aspirin might be ok
2 or greater: moderate to high risk, should be on therapy unless contraindicated for other reasons.

Risk Stratification of Crazy

WLPOCK (pronounced wall-pock)

Women (1 pt): see previous entry

LA (1pt): If you’ve ever lived in the LA area, there is something in the air. I’m not talking about the smog. I don’t know what it is, I’m from LA, maybe it is the 1st/2nd generation immigrant culture, the “melting pot” of different people, the importance of appearance, the make it or break it culture in business and in Hollywood. And to top it all off, the traffic alone is enough to drive you absolutely nuts. (get it? NUTS. As a topping, to top, on top of the sundae. that melts. in a pot.)

Parents (1pt): If your parents are crazy, you are genetically and environmentally predisposed to do crazy things. So the next time you hear “I think I'm starting to turn into my mother/father.” from someone, the most efficient use of your time is to go straight to the source, FIND THE PARENTS. Because 20 years down they line, that may be what you will see (and hear) next to you every day for the rest of your life.

Only Child (1 pt): Having a sibling usually keeps you in check, because no one wants to be the crazy kid, the weak link, the inferior child. You learn to share, learn to defend yourself, and you learn that you may not always be the star of the show. Seeing the only child’s perspective, there is a lot of pressure to succeed. It's hard to be the only one to bear the family blood line because all the (dysfunctional) family’s eggs are in your basket. And if you don't succeed, you will be the shame of the family. FOREVER.

Korean (2pts, halfsies don’t count): I’m not a racist, I have many Korean friends that I hold hear and dear to my heart, and I hope I don’t lose over half of my readership from this comment. But it is a well-known fact that Koreans are crazy. Everyone seems to knows a krazy Korean (please let me know if this is inaccurate). When I encountered my first one, the only one it seemed to surprise was me. When I told my friend Tyrone* he said, “Oh yeah, in high school, this Korean girl faked a terminal illness to make friends, and to get people to sympathize for her.” And of course the multiple crazy Korean ex-girlfriend stories of general off-the-rocker-esque behavior always come up. When confronted by this, a Korean friend of mine Janu* retorted, “No, we aren’t CRAZY, our people are just too PASSIONATE.” Hm, ok. 2 pts for you.

WLPOCK score 0-2: low risk. 3 and greater: one word. JESUS.

It is important to note that someone with a high CHADS2 score does not mean that they will definitely have a stroke, it just means that they are more predisposed to getting a stroke, therefore requiring preventative measures. Likewise, a high WLPOCK score does not mean that someone is or will become crazy. It is more a measure to increase awareness of potential predisposition and risk levels that may require some preventative action. WLPOCK has not been tested and was formulated through a retrospective analysis of my 26 years of California adventures.

*names changed because of enrollment in the WKPOCK witness protection program

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

The difference between boys and girls: Part II

This blog is dedicated to my dear friend and co-transient blogger Ninja, for this entry is inspired by her February 27, 2008 posting. Please visit her at: http://weblog.xanga.com/ninJa_Hwang

There are lots of differences between boys and girls, whether it be enzymes, genitalia, bone structure, clothes, ipod colors, the color of the swoosh on your Nikes (girls: green. boys:pink.) the list goes on. I don't usually like blanket generalizations, but I am a big fan of "overarching themes" that are consistent in 95%+ of the people in which I am talking about.

Overarching theme: Girls are crazy.

Exhibit A: Hillary Clinton

I've been hearing a lot of, "Obama and Clinton are so SIMILAR, I can't decide! I would be happy if either of them become President. Anything but dubya, right?" Wrong. Barack and Hillary have similar platforms on some things, but they are different in many ways. I won't get into the politics today. I am supporting Barack Obama. Only one of the (many) reasons is because Hillary is a woman, and I know about females. I AM female. Girls are crazy. Ladies, I hear the neck swiveling and finger snapping from here, but let's be honest now. If you are reading my blog, then I probably know you. And if I know you and you are a female, you are just snapping because you know it's true.

A stand-up comedian I saw on Monday put it best when he explained why he is a Barack supporter. He said, "I will vote for Barack Obama even if he eats a baby. Because soon after, Hillary will say, "Ooh, I can eat babies TOO, I can eat fat babies, I can eat 2 babies, I am so passionate! I will eat a fetus!!" which brings me to my next point: With women, it is all about winning. (If it means anything to you he was a black man. He also said he will vote for him because they are both black.)

Exhibit B: Layers

Many times people don't "say what they mean, and mean what they say." (Another reason I like Obama) And by people, I mean women. I found this piece of Funwall chain mail courtesy of Facebook:

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes- If she is getting dressed, this means a half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping her.

3. Nothing- This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead- This is a dare....NOT permission...Don't Do It!!!!

5. Loud Sigh- This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. "That's OK"- This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's OK" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks- A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome!!!!

8. Whatever- Is a woman's way of saying @#$% YOU!!!

9. "Don't worry about it, I got it"- Another dangerous statement meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

This is either written by a guy or dumbed down by a girl to be understood by the guy. I imagine a guy thinking, "Ohh, I get it, whatever = @#$% you. I'm done. I get it, I understand." and..... all the women are laughing. AT YOU. There are more than two layers, women are a Chinese thousand layer pancake. LAYERS. How do I know a man wrote it? A woman would never leave out the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would expect they should do unto you." Platinum Rule: "It's all about winning." Using the example, above, one would never actually be allowed to POINT OUT the real definition of what women say because I guarantee they will say, "No, X means X. Why would I say X, if I didn't really mean X?" (X being any of the 9 mentioned above) Which sounds irrational but you know what's worse than irrationality? Losing.

So, how do you avoid the crazy woman? Well you can't. All woman are crazy. But like I said, I don't like generalizations. Clearly there are levels. I'm still undecided on whether I should write my future expose, "The Risk Stratification of Crazy" I imagine it would not be for the faint of heart and insecure.....and I might lose half my facebook friends.

Monday, 24 September 2007

The Difference Between Boys and Girls: Part I

In light of recent events that have occurred over the past weekend, I have decided to dedicate this entry to my good friend 'Bernice.'

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Men have more Alcohol Dehydrogenase, Women have less Alcohol Dehydrogenase.

A meta-analysis in the Archives of Internal Medicine from December 2006 found that women who consumed on average 4grams/day of alcohol (~2 drinks) and men who consumed 6-7grams/day (~3-4 drinks) had a lower mortality rate than people who didn't drink at all. Multiple studies have shown that alcohol in low to moderate doses have cardiovascular benefits in both men and women. (not just red wine but any alcohol, even 40s). However, if either sexes go OVER this tipping point, the relationship quickly turns in the other direction. Danger danger, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Females develop alcoholic liver injury more rapidly and have a lower alcohol toxic threshold than males. We have less gastric alcohol dehydrogenase, the enzyme used to break ethanol down in the gut, than men. Therefore, the alcohol kicks it in a woman's blood longer until her enzymes get around to breaking it down. Liver damage is a function of blood alcohol level and time, which is why women are more at risk for liver damage than men. Another theory is that increased elimination rate of alcohol in women allows acetaldehyde, a toxic metabolite of alcohol, to float around in our bodies leading to liver damage as well. In addition, estrogen influences the gut to produce proinflammatory cytokines and oxygen free radicals, which could be yet another contributing factor to the increased risk of ... you guessed it, more liver damage.

Therefore, three Bacardis at the party for Jimmy, is not the same as three Bacardis at the party for Bernice. And if that weren't enough, premenopausal women have such a low incidence ofcardiovascular disease, that the benefits of alcohol on total mortality appear to be reduced in relation to the larger population. So for all you Bernices out there, don't try to compete with Jimmy because God made us special in our own way.

And yes, boys have penises, and girls have vaginas.